This was when things got complicated. This was when things become too much to handle.
I was released two days after admittance, and decided to make my way back to New York. I stayed by a close friend because I couldn’t deal with my worrisome parents that would ask me if I was ok every five minutes. I couldn’t stand to see the pity in my mother’s eyes. It really annoyed me. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t bear living there for the duration with my case.
My landlady back in Connecticut actually allowed me to break my lease. She was surprisingly understanding, which was the total opposite from her usual cantankerous moods.
Daniel came and got me from the hospital and took me home to pack a bag and help me load my car. We both drove separate vehicles down. My friend was conveniently out off town for two weeks. She had been planning on going to California for a few months and I always had the spare key in case of an emergency. Once inside, I began putting myself to work. There was a spare bedroom next to the office room. We began putting my things in there. Daniel was pulling a box in when I walked over to him and we made eye contact. He stopped looking at what he was doing and searched my eyes for answers. My eyes must have seemed distant. He walked over and drew me in close to him. I put my hand on his face, resting it gently on his cheek; all the while our eyes remained locked. He began slowly sliding his hand down the side out my back and I couldn’t stop him. He started reaching in to kiss me but I tilted my head and he went directly into my neck instead. I felt as if I had no control anymore. He kissed and sucked my neck until I was weak and pleading with him to stop, but I could hear the yearning in my voice for him to continue. Now his hands found a resting place on my backside. The comfort I felt with him was beyond explanation. I wilfully pulled away and said “what are we doing”?
Daniel looked confused. It was as if I were speaking in tongues. “We’re spending time together. Is that okay?”
“I’m not sure. I want to know if I feel uncomfortable will you stop and protect me”? Daniel took my hands and walked over to the guest bed, leading me behind him. We sat down and he looked me in my eyes. “Listen, I know you’re apprehensive about everything but you can trust me. I’m not sure where this is going, but I’m finally trusting my feelings and I promise you, I’m not here to hurt you.” He kissed me softly on my forehead. I was still full of questions.
“What were you doing on the boardwalk that night Dan”? He took in a deep breath and said “Honestly, I mean I knew that was your spot and I was hoping I would see you. I felt like shit the way things went down that day. Christina was being her usual self and I wanted to explain myself and…”
“…Where does she stand in the picture?” I know I caught him off guard but I waited to hear his response. I had to know.
“She isn’t in the picture. Tara the divorce…”
“… wait a sec. You didn’t tell me you were divorcing her!” I wanted to smile and say ha ha ha!
“Well yeah. After that night I realized that if anything had happened to you, I couldn’t imagine not being able to see you or tell you I had always liked you. It just never seemed like the right time. Being in the hospital and wondering if you’d ever wake up was an eye opener. I kept wondering if I’d ever get a chance to admit my feelings for you.” He seemed honest and it all made sense. I hugged him and whispered in his ears “so how do you feel about me “? My hands were wrapped around his neck as we sat face to face on the bed.
“Well I was hoping to wait until the divorce was finalized in about two months but I guess now is the best time to let you know that I want you to be my girl.”
I was officially in heaven.
That night after Danny told me he wanted a relationship with me, I was pretty much on cloud nine. This was the guy I had always dreamed of getting the chance to get close with and be the father of my unborn children and my future husband. When I found out he was married I was devastated, which was the prime reason I was out jogging so late that night when he saved my life. That night, Danny helped me go through the evening of the assault. We started the recount of what took place and afterwards, I went and made dinner for us. He didn’t have to stay but he did, once again catching a nap on the sofa in the living room. I yearned for the evening he would lay beside me and hold me until we both fell asleep.