What Else

I went to rehearsal tonight. There is a new tenor. He doesn’t replace me. He compliments me, and unfortunately, I believe I’m beginning to like this kid that is about five years younger than me, with nooooooooo interest in me at all.

Why me?

I still love Mr. Secret, despite is coming to a crashing gault when earlier in January, he called me a selfish bitch because I didn’t want to follow through with his plan to come over his house. Pain. Agony. Sleepless nights. I felt out in the core of my very being. I didn’t think I could ever write about it. It is still painful.

Of course I assumed we had a real friendship that could with stand everything, which out had speared to be. I honestly expected to be with him one day. I thought wrong. I can’t lite and say I’m not scared to move on and close myself off. I think deep down I want to believe he will come clean and do a full 180, but each day goes by and my email box is empty, and he stol lives his life, happy, without me.

It makes me wonder… How do people just do that? How do they hurt you and sleep well, curled up next to a new person? How does that feel? All I know is that someone like that is heartless. Callous. Cold. Caustic.

May God have mercy on them all.

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