Here And Back Again

I know I haven’t written in a while. It’s been two months. Here is a quick update.

Mr. Secret and I. Had gotten pretty hot and heavy in early October, but I had gotten fed up that he was not trying tgo commit and I called it quits. We stopped speaking and recently, started again, but it isn’t the same. We aren’t friends like we used to be. Lesson learned. Keep legs, ears and heart closed. Sorry.

Since then, I’ve become really cold and callous. I’m actually taking medication that helps to bring up my serotonin levels in my body, because I had been suffering from depression for some time now anmd suffered silently, as I do with everything in my life. Suffering silently seems to be my cure for everything. It’s my way of coping without having people feel sorry for me.

It’s been really difficult for me, especially accepting that after all these years of pursuit, this guy didn’t want me. Everyone has been telling me these phrases or sayings that are supposed to help me feel better. It hasn’t worked yet. The swwet nothings and all the tough talks haven’t helped. The only thing that’s gotten me through has been this new medication.

Now I’m not and have never been an advocate for meds, but what I have learned is that when you are on the brink of insanity, and you’re just about to fall off the precipice, you will grab on to anything that appears hopeful. In my case, this boost of serotonin has been my saving grace, and I thank God for it. Without it, I would never be writing this blog entry. I would honestly six feet under.

Not even writing could help me…

So you guys know how I love statistics! So a recent survey done showed that 1 in 4 American women take medication for mental health or mental illness and 1 in 5 American men also take medication for mental health or mental illness.

Another recent study showed that 70% of women meet their future husbands during the daytime on a regular day. Imagine walking out of your house looking a hot mess and the husband of your dreams was at the Walmart or the coffee shop and you looked wratchet!! I’m making it my business to try to look decent everyday. It’s my only hope lol…

Carmen xoxo

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One thought on “Here And Back Again

  1. I miss you sis!!! I think you need to come here to visit me and change your daily perspective… Hun… there are a lot of fishes in the sea… believe me 🙂 xoxoxo. Natalia Vilar

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