Just When You Thought It Was Over

So the last time I spoke about Mr. Secret, it was left on a note that pretty much was us being done. He had gone out of his way to establish that he didn’t want a relationship, and eventually, our friendship dwindled away over the weeks. Then suddenly, this weekend came and I snapped and he sent an email pouring out his feelings. I was shocked, but confused. This was the same guy that told me he didn’t have any genuine feelings for me. I had to talk to him.

Last night, I set up a meeting with him. He came out and got me but we didn’t speak about his email, or us. It was a waste, and we actually argued more and more after he took me back home. We text, emailed, talked, I deleted him from my fb… DRAMA.
This AM, we finally spoke and he opened up to to me. We made some progress, but it became more evident to me that he is fighting me because of his strong feelings for me. I guess we both don’t want to love each other, but the love is definitely there. He can’t shake me. I guess the fact that I’m still writing about him means I can’t either. Idk guys! Ugh!

He makes me happy. When I see him, I feel a bit brighter inside, but is he the one? I don’t know. I’m not taking any steps without my God, and if he can’t open up and be honest with himself or me, then it’s his loss, eh?

Carmen xoxo

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