You Changed

I realize that a lot of women change when they get a man, especially when they’ve been waiting for a while. They use people to kill time and when a man comes along, EVERYTHING changes. The same person that may have wanted to hang out with her friends almost every day of the week gets totally absorbed in this new man, and spends all her time with him. That’s so obsessed and it makes us, as a gender, look so desperate! When will we ever learn??

Most of us already revolve most of our lives around men. I’ve been guilty of waiting for a man to come along to start doing things I’ve always wanted to do. It’s kind of sad. I had to wake myself up from that dream. There was no logical reason for me to wait on a guy to come along to start traveling, or doing fun things like rock climbing.

I had it all twisted. I had some notion that life really begins when a man comes into it, but I was sooooooooooo wrong. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit it to you guys. For the past few years, I’ve been thinking differently. I’ve gone on road trips with my girls, traveled to diferent states by myself, and even done the unthinkable….. (drum roll please)………………………………… I’ve gone to the movies BY MYSELF. I sat there and ate my nachos and watched my movies and sipped on my frozen icee drink and didn’t give a damn about the couple to the left or the right of me!

We as women need to be much more empowered. We need to be more gun- ho about enjoying each and every day that we’ve been blessed with, and not wait for a man to come make our lives perfect, or obsessively drown our entire lives in a man. It’s so annoying to be around a woman that is all about her man and doesn’t know how to have fun without him. Do you guys know a girl like that? Annoying! Then when they break up, she’s more distraught over how she will survive without him, and you’re left to be the ear, shoulder, snot and tear holder! Trust me, I’ve been on both ends and it ain’t pretty either way. Ladies, let’s just begin living. Let’s begin living without expectations, knowing that God will provide. Let’s stop accepting being side pieces, jump- offs, or the other woman. Being a mistress is really not a compliment. It’s become so accepted, but it’s really sad and everyone suffers. Men are partially dogs because we allow them to be. Maybe if more of us say “you need to marry me to get all of this”, we would know the real from the fake. In some rare cases, a man can be married to several women, but that’s not big in the U.S. — unless you’re apart of a polygamist family. We give so much of ourselves for free (yes I’m having an epiphany) and we expect so much in return but we don’t get it and wonder why, after we’ve been so loyal, so caring, such a good woman!

It’s simple. Live and in living, all that your heart desires will come to you. Just live.

Carmen xoxo

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