Mr. Secret has officially rubbed me the wrong way. I almost wanted all that he had to give me. Now I see that he has issues that go way farther than I can reach. These issues need fixing, and I don’t have the proper tools. He is not the one for me to stress over. Had he been the one, he would have not made things so difficult. He’s built up a huge, strong wall, and he barricades everyone out. He is scared to let his guards down and enjoy himself with anyone, no matter how seemingly harmless they may appear.
I studied enough psychology, as you all know. With one semester left as a psychology major, I’m “7/8 of a psychologist”, as I often joke around saying. I have read him well and I know where he is coming from. I understand so well. At this point in his life, he’s looking to settle down, but he hasn’t met anyone worthy as yet, so he continues to have fun. In having fun, he opens himself up to having many different sexual relations with all types of women. Subconsciously, he’s looking for a quality woman. This type of woman he hopes to snag has to allow him to chase her. He has to know that he can’t just have her. There is just one problem…
No matter how great a woman is to Mr. Secret, he loses interest quickly and always keeps a few options opened. He is very weary of how close and intimate he gets. He rarely ever opens himself up, and a woman might even believe that they have something, which in truth, may be next to nothing in Mr. Secret’s world. When he gets what he wants, he leaves, hoping to get a new chase. The moment he feels that he is getting too heavy into anything, he immediately retreats.
Mr. Secret has an anger issue as well. I can’t even talk to him anymore. He avoids any topic that does not interest him and once you slightly begin to get him annoyed, he shuts down on you.
I truly miss the friendship we both had before we got to know one another a bit better, but the lessons learned are priceless. What can I say? I’m not going to sit around and pray that he stays in my life if he doesn’t want to be there anymore. I’ve got a better one. Since he is so focused on hisself and his own feelings, I realized that I need to stop being so concerned about his condition, and worry about myself. I’m always trying to be the better, bigger person, but somehow, in this situation, it pays to be less concerned. I still pray for him everyday, but the friendship I yearned for is now gone. He’s been too unkind for me to ignore. I’m just going to love him from a distance.
Hey, what can I say? Life is still good.