Deep Contrition

Heavy Laden
Burden bearer
Busting my chops for you
And yet failing
Frequently falling
Fumbled failure
Yet you only laugh
And say “again, again”.

I’m so friggin’ tired.
I feel such immense pain.
I am doing my best
And it’s never enough.
I have no reserves.
Right now this is all I have.
I’m giving you all of me
And it’s never enough.

What more can I possibly do?
What more can I possibly give you?
I feel guilty and burned,
And you’ve cut my heel- strings.
It’s so difficult to run away now.

Nothing is easy.
I did not sleep through the night.
Fear left me bound.
Fear of today’s uncertainty.

You don’t understand me.
You don’t know me.
I fell humbly at your feet
And begged your forgiveness
After I chastized you,
And then you turned the tables on me
And I’m in deep contrition.
You are not Him,
so why do I feel such sadness in my heart?
You don’t love me.
You don’t know me.
Can you number the very hair on my head?

If you never speak to me again,
I should find it favourable.

Carmen xoxo

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: