I have a hater’s fan club. I didn’t know that it was so strong until the other day. These chicks were sitting together, giving me evil stares as I performed, and I didn’t even know it. I was told by many that I “should have seen the looks” and how “if looks could kill” I would have been dead. It was bothering me. I prayed about. I got upset, angry, full of chaotic emotions. I wasnted to cry to release some of the anger but I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t. I started writing a blog yesterday that I knew I would have regret posting.
Oddly enough, when I tried uploading it this morning, it would not go through. I know God was guarding my thoughts. Honestly, I wanted to give my deepest inner thoughts a platform to just put out what I really feel about these chicks. I wanted to lash out and use profane words. Nothing would have made me happier, but I know it wouldn’t have been me. That’s the old me, that is impulsive, lacks self control and wisdom, and wants to have the last laugh. That’s the old me that I refuse to let anyone draw out because she is dead and gone.
It isn’t easy being a Christian. You really do have to put faith into practice. People think it’s about professing your religion and telling others about God. I know that had that blog gone through, I would have awful. I don’t need to get the last laugh if I’m secure in my relationship with God. I have to believe that He will work everything out for me.
This has been good though. I find myself praying when I should. This current situation is more than I can handle. It’s horrible when those who were once your friends, turn against you because they are jealous, but Joseph went through the same thing.
In Genesis, we find the story of Joseph and his brother’s that were so jealous of the relationship he has with his father, that they sold him into slavery.
God be praised.
Everything worked out for Joseph as he became the prime minister over Egypt and saved his people from a famine.
God be praised.
You know what guys? I’m not even stressing about this. I’m not even going to allow the devil to hurt me. I know whom I believe in. I love God and I know He will work it all out for me. I have clarity now.
I’m over it lol.
Carmen xoxo 🙂 ❤