As I lay here in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling a bit cliché, I wonder why the sirens outside are not coming to rescue me from this place. I’m waiting. I’m waiting, but nothing. I would love to move out and just have my own. I think the peace that comes with being on your own is so awesome. Even though you buy that peace each month when you pay rent, it’s awesome to think that at least it can be bought.
I don’t feel free here, and maybe the reason I had 2 panic attacks today in my new college on the first day, is because I was not ready to go back to school when I feel like pieces of different colored play-doh that’s being smushed and mashed by a child’s carefree hand. I feel all over the place, forced to ply myself into one unit. I can’t lie.
I just need some time alone, away from here, and peace.