New Day and I’m Feelin’…. Gooooooooood

I know it’s been a while! I’ve had to really get my bearings over the last few days. I’m sorry guys. I really didn’t want to come here today and be all cliché and tell y’all that I’ve got a resolution. I don’t believe in resolutions anymore. Yeah, a new year can turn a new leaf, but I’ve been learning so much about life, people, and myself, and I don’t think you should wait until 12/31 to do a 180.

What I have been doing is a lot of reflecting. I have come a long way, but I still have a long journey. I’ve had a lot of tears this year. I’ve had a lot of terrible things happen, and I’ve also had some blessings in disguise. I can honestly say that my year has ended on a positive high. Now I know that may not be the case for some of you. Some of you may have suffered loss, whether in a family member or even job. I know 2010 hasn’t ben easy, but I want to talk about the things that have brought positive in my life. I hope while you read this, you are moved to reflect on your year.

Earlier this year, I learned the value of my relationship with God. I have been fighting Him for years, but this year, when I was put into a tough situation, He brought me through. I spent many nights crying and not understanding what I was going through, or how I had even managed to bring myself there. God taught me how to trust Him. He taught me how to control myself and brought me back to a place where I could remember who I was. I had actually forgotten. He saved me from a road that if I had traveled down, would have left me in total despair and darkness. I thank Him for thinking about me so much, that He could deliever me.

I learned to pray in good times as well as bad. I learned to appreciate things, and not just say that I appreciate them. I learned how wonderful my warm bed felt at night when it was so bitterly cold outside. I learned how amazing it is to be able to struggle to find the right outfit because of the abundance of clothing I have. That’s a blessing!

I learned what it meant to be humble. I learned patience and gratefulness. I learned about hard work and effort and that I could always lean on Jesus to pull me through anything. I learned to lean.

I learned to smile and listen more. I learned to appreciate the gifts God has given me. I learned that sometimes, my job may just be to listen to someone all the time, because God has a purpose for each of us.

I learned to defend myself and toughen up more. I learned that love is not supposed to hurt and that real friends eventually come around, even if you guys have a bit of a spat.

I know you guys are wondering what has happened to my ex.

Well after yesterday, I decided to leave his ass in 2010. I’m trusting in God that someone is out there for me that is going to make me smile and pray with me when times get rough. That someone wants to love me and not fight with me everyday, and he has the qualities I look for in a man. I’m leaving the past in the past and I pray that God will continue to strengthen me and give me peace continually as I travel down a road that I do not know where I will end up. The only thing I know, is that God is taking every step with me as I hold His unchanging hand.

Happy New Year guys and much love always.

Carmen xoxo

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