I’ve Got Something

I am yet agaian, on another train, in Manhattan, thinking about so many things, but the greatest thought that continues to take over my mind is that I am so blessed. My stomach is growling because I haven’t had breakfast yet, but I’m not starving. Taking a look at my figures in pay, and accounts would reflect that I am dirt broke, but I feel so rich because I have friends and family, and a God that ALWAYS provides for me. I don’t live in a mansion, and I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but every night before I go to bed, I have the biggest smile on my face because I’m not suffering in the frigid temperatures under a park bench. I am always warm and toasty under my quilt, with my soft sheets and fluffy pillow. I may not wear Armani or Versace, Gucci, Prada and BCBG everyday, but somehow, I always manage to deceive the crowd into believing that my Forever21 and Victoria’s Secret outfits are Marc Jacobs and because I put them together oh so well (by the grace of God)!!

It isn’t easy, but if you are reading this, chances are, you are more blessed than you think. I think it’s time that we stop complaining about what we want, and try to focus on what we can do to create a positive change in this world. I myself am so very guilty of this too. Look at me! I was definitely the same person at 12 am this morning, complaining about how I don’t have a best friend, but you know what? I know why God hasn’t put that person in place. God has been dealing with me, trying to get me to speak to Him more instead of clamming up, or complaining to people that can’t even help me, and I must apologize. Why? Oh, simply because! The people God has placed in my life are amazing! Right now I have about five really awesome friends that I know have my back, regardless, and though they all may have best friends, I have a bond with them that is truly amazing. I really have no business complaining, but I guess I had to vent that out and let God know, in a way too, that that is something I hope for, and I have faith He will grant it unto me, according to His will.

I just want to become more active and do more things next year. I had a blog prior to this one, and in one of my entries one day, I spoke about living in the now. A lot of us wait until we think the time is right to accomplish a goal, or a great desire, only to find out that the time may never be right. I am so guilty of that. I love the movie Last Holiday with Queen LaTifah. Love it! I don’t want to ruin it for those of you who have not seen it, but let’s stop and ask ourselves this question. What if, hypothetically speaking, God forbid, we found out we had a terminal illness, and only had a short amount of time to live? Would we sit in tears, weeping over all the things we didn’t get to do, or places we wanted to go? Would God be dissappointed with us because we didn’t use or utilize not one talent He had given us? Would we then make the time to live everyday like it was our last? I am going to live. I choose life and happiness and joy, daily. I choose smiles over tears, and there are tears, they have to be tears of joy.

Earlier, when I got on the train, I got a little teary. God has been very good to me, and my family. I have a lot to be thankful for. I want to be a blessing to others. I want to be a change that can make people smile or inspire others to be great. I want to be a voice for those silenced in a world of darkness and despair. Don’t you?

Carmen xoxo

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