Coming To You… Live!! From Under My Covers!

I know I should be sleeping. I know I should just dismiss everything in my head right now, but I’ve been sick and out from work for the entire week because of a really bad case of the flu. I figured between the frigid temperatures we’ve been enduring here in New York, and the virus’ going around on these subway trains, I was sure to pick something up. That’s not what I want to talk about tonight though.

I have some really great news. Something amazing has happened to me. Like life altering guys. It’s somethings I’ve been praying for for over 10 years, and it’s finally worked out. I am supposed to be overjoyed, and I am. There’s just one small problem. I can’t even thinl of where to begin! I don’t know my next step.

I was searching through my phone and I realized that I really had no one to talk to at 12 am. I just felt so lonely. I know I have God. I just wanted to hear someone on the phone. I still haven’t heard His still small voice yet. Maybe I’m not being quiet enough? I don’t know anymore. I’m just back to that familiar lonely feeling again, I guess. I don’t have a human best friend. Not one. I was told that my Mother doesn’t count because she’s my Mom, and maybe I really shouldn’t tell her everything. Sigh… smile.

Well today, I finally linked my Youtube channel with this blog, so you guys can look for me on Youtube amd see all my favourite songs and uploaded videos. My name is prettyreeree. I am going to start doing some videos showing my lock journey and knitting. I really think one of the lessons that God is trying to teach me, is how to have patience and learn to be still in a great big universe and wait for Him to speak. I keep taking up time consuming tasks that require so much patience. In a previous blog, I showed you guys my hair journey in just this year alone. Since I’ve started locking, I’m really learning how to just let things be. At times I just want to wash it all out, but then I see other people who have gone through it. It shows me that sometimes, the things we want the most may be difficult, time consuming, frustrating even, but they are worth it. We just have to keep our thoughts on the end result. Now I won’t lie to anybody. I want nice long locks. That’s what my goal is. That’s what I want. Too bad if it sounds superficial.

Oh yeah, and just an update on the ex situation… he sent me a tex saying he loves me and he lied about the new lady in his life. He claimed that since I always assumed he had someone, he just said it to please me. I don’t know guys. Is he full of crap?… yes! Is he playing games?… probably. Is he ever going to move on? I don’t know! Am I? I hope so, though everyone says you NEVER get over your first love. I wonder if i’d still be this angry young woman afraid to love, had I not met him? I wonder why I ever had to meet him, but when I think of the old me, I’m glad I did.

And once again, I will be alone for the holidays! I’ll be ringing in the New Year at church, as usual. God is the best man to be with on that day anyway, so I won’t complain.

I haven’t been on a date in a while though… I guess this is just my dry season. Maybe it will rain men in 2011? I’ll keep you guys posted on a new best friend and a potential future husband if they turn up! Maybe if I’m fortunate enough, my husband will be my best friend! Don’t all awwwwwwwwwww at once. Ha!

Much love and wherever you are… have a great week…

Carmen xoxo

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