Alone On A Saturday Night

I can’t stand being home on a Saturday night, especially when I have nothing to do but watch The Lord of The Rings obsessively. It stinks when I get texts from my friends that are out, doing their thing, all dressed up, telling me about the fun they’re having, while I pace up and down, through my house.

This sucks.

I am so used to this, it’s terrifying me! I’m getting old before my time, and the sad part is, I don’t know why. Then again, I really do.

Apart from the weather affecting my mood, and whether or not I’ll venture out to Manhattan or Broooooooooklyn, (to shake my tail feather at somebodies lounge, or sip on some bubbly in a fancy restaurant) I don’t have a close circle, or even a best friend anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I have a ton of friends! Ha! I mean, when I had a facebook account, I had over 500 friends, and I knew about 475 of them! Take that!

You know what though? At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Out of all those fb friends that I had, I could only depend on a hands worth of people. That was the primary reason for me getting rid of it. I got rid of my Twitter account as well. It just didn’t seem worth it. I was reading the thoughts of all these people that were not really my genuine friends. I just kept thinking to myself, how much does it value to have all these fake friendships that amount to nothing at the end of the day? If any of those friendships mattered right now, I would be out dancing (I love to dance) instead of writing. The only thing that makes me feel remotely good about writing this right now, is that I know my wonderful audience is readong this. I really love you guys. Can you feel the love coming through? It’s there. I’m sending it out to you. Got it? Good! At least I have you guys, and you know that you have me.

I’m thankful that at least I have a chance to write. At least I have a voice and I can put out my feelings. I’m eventually going to get political… I know I know, but y’all have no clue how difficult it is for me to read and hear about certain things and sweep it under the rug. I don’t sit and think about my ex in la-la land all day everyday. C’mon guys. I’m not shallow… well I’m not that shallow. Hehehe.

Anyway, I’m going to throw in Boiler Room or The Lord of The Rings (disc 1) and just drown my sorrows away in egg nog. I hope that you are all safe, and if you’re going out to shake your tail feather, dedicate a dance to Carmen.

xoxo

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