So I just missed the 2 train that I needed. There were a bunch of people in front of me on the stairs, and they were moving so slowly! I can’t stand that! I really wanted to catch that train too. It seems that when you always want the train, it just so happens to close the doors in your face and pull off. That makes two trains that I have missed by a slim second today. Had they not been there, I would have ran down those stairs and made the train. Oh well. Everything happens for a reason.
You know what annoyed me? The very large lady that saw she could not fit in the three person seater that was already filled by my “sister” and I. Now I’m already a thicky thick, and this lady was like two people, because when my friend got off the train, her fat just unfolded and spilled over. After squashing me for about 20 minutes, you know she had the nerve to say to me “could you move over a little bit”? Woah!!! Did I miss something? Well, I wanted the Christian in me, and Jesus light to shine through me so I moved. Halle Halle! But was I thrilled? Not likely. I wanted to give her the look, but what would that have done? She wound up taking up two seats, which just solidified why I felt like the life in me was being squeezed out, like the last bit of toothpaste in a tube that you know is not coming out, but stilll, you squeeze. She clearly didn’t learn my slogan that simply says, “if your ass can’t fit, then you’ve got to acquit”, or “if your ass can’t fit, then you can’t sit”, or better yet, “if your ass can’t fit… stand”. If she had a cane, or was pregnant, I would have given up my seat, because it’s not that serious, and it’s actually the right thing to do. Not enough people are doing it. I’ve had a friend tell me that as soon as she gets on the train, she closes her eyes, so that she doesn’t have to see the pregnant, old, or disbled people. She said she was always too tired to give up her seat, and she didn’t feel like that. I’ve been there, but the thought of my conscience ripping me up always wins. I can’t be that messed up. Besides, if someones baby plops out on the train because they needed to sit, I think I would never stop beating myself up for witnessing that.
Which brings me to my next point. This Friday, I am definitely back in the gym, do or die. I have got to lose 20 pounds. I think 20 is a good goal to start with. I am not trying to be a size two, but honestly, I need to make a new start. I want to tone up EVERYTHANG! The tummy pouch, muffin tops and saddle bags running around is not cute anymore, and I don’t want to be a contributer to that club. The Biggest Loser had me questioning myself last night, like “do I need a personal trainer because I don’t think I’m doing this work out thing right”? I never thought I would be out of the gym, and by gaining 13 pounds in about one month, I am so upset with myself. It’s ridiculous. Radio Raheem Ridic LOL! Sorry… I had to go there. But yes, my beautiful lovely people! I’m no toothpick. I’m more like a melon, with two cantolopes. I’m just thinking about the lady that sat next to me. I know that I have never done that (take up two whole seats or suck the life out of people sitting next to me), but can you imagine? Being over weight is a serious issue because if affects more than just the person who is overweight. It affects the people they sit next to! Okay, maybe that was a low blow, but I would like to publicly declare that I am going to contribute to the positive energry of the universe by losing weight and being a more healthy being. Maybe if I was healthier, I would have caught the trains this morning. Ugh. I’m not sure about being vegan again, but I’m thinking about being vegetarian again. I don’t just want to do it today and stop tomorrow though. I want to create a healthy lifestyle. Maybe then I won’t need “butt shots” so I can look like Nicki Minaj. Maybe I have a real sister girl booty! Who ever heard of a Jamaican woman that suffers from NAAA?
I love myself.
And just to add… 1. I haven’t listened to Radio Raheem since I saw him, and I’m okay. I’m so over it! & 2. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please don’t come back back and tell me I’m wrong, or mean, or blah blah blah, because that’s all I hear. I love you all, but there are some things that I need to get off my chest. Relax. I’m not going to get out of order, but I have to be me. If you really love me, you’ll stick through this, just like all my other phases. I won’t ever go in on anyone, and my job and most of my personal life will definitely be kept private. Just know that this is my world, and whether you’ve stumbled upon it, or I’ve invited you into it, these are my thoughts. Please just allow me to be real. Please allow me to be me somewhere. 3. I’m trying to fight a cold that I started feeling after standing in the cold to see Mr. DeVaughn. Maybe I don’t go good with DeVaughn’s (insider). Love you guys. Have a great day, and remember to laugh today. Hahaha!