Anxious

I’m on a train again and I’m on my way home. I am attempting to direct all of this overwhelming anxiety into this blog entry. I just feel sometimes as if there is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything I need to do, but I know that it is my time management, or lack thereof, of any good prioritizing, that causes me to feel as if I haven’t accomplished anything of any consequence, everyday.

An elder had preached a sermon in my church, one week, about time management. He said that 24 hours is actually more than enough time to get things done in one day, but that prioritizing is key to get things accomplished. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not doing things the right way, but I have a list (actually, more than one), but I guess I keep adding things to it, and that’s why I primarily feel as if nothing is getting done. I’m reading a book that talks about not sweating the small stuff… I think it’s helping me though. Finally, a book that’s breaking through! I’ve read it before, but never tried applying anything. Now I find myself taking deep breaths on the train, walking a little slower, and not getting furious every time things don’t go my way. I need a break though. A long vacation. Maybe a month in another country. Somewhere nice though, like Spain or Italy. I deserve a chance to just collect myself.

It’s something about living in New York City. Moving quickly and cursing is the norm. Running and pushing and being mean is acceptable. It’s okay to just be down right disrespectful. I tell you guys! If I don’t listen to gospel or Raheem DeVaughn throughout the day, I would be nuts right now. I need a month. Yep. I think a month would bring me down. I’ve always wanted to be a missionary. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what the heck I should do when I finally get this BA English. It’s highly anticipated.

I just transferred to the other train and lost my train of thought. Good thing because I was getting a bit choked up when I thought about getting my B.A.

I don’t care how old you are. No excuses. Go get an education. If you have always wanted to go to school, do it! Who cares about what people may say! People talk and they are usually just jealous because you have courage and a zest for life! As long as you’re not doing it to shove it in people’s face, that’s fine! Do it! The worse thing a person can do is think themselves up to be more intellectual than they really are, and start that high horse bs of “oh, look at me, I’m a smartass on my high horse and I’m educated because I have a Ph.D.”! Ugh! Don’t those people get on your nerves? Trust me, that is not the first person I’ll want to invite over for avocado sandwiches and tea. Not unless I want to laugh.

I love Raheem DeVaughn. Well, his music and his voice, but not the person. I mean, I don’t mind him, but I don’t know him to love him. I’m going to see him perform in a few weeks. I’m so hyped because I just want to see the human being that has been blessed with the amazing vocals and talent that he was given. His music is really amazing too. I’m glad that I can listen to him again.

Maybe I will be a missionary and help teach kids from other countries how to speak, read and write in English.

Hopefully one day I will get it all together. We all only have 24 hours, but it’s all about how we utilize our time given. Just hope the anxiety goes away so I can live in the now.

And I have come full circle.

The book I am currently into is “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all Small Stuff (1997),”  by Dr. Richard Carlson, PH.D.

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